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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29828892">toxic.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/royalsunshinehotel/pseuds/royalsunshinehotel'>royalsunshinehotel</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Modern Love - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Emma's a piece of trash, F/M, god bless dev patel, so I gave YN a moment</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 08:07:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,904</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29828892</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/royalsunshinehotel/pseuds/royalsunshinehotel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>YN works for Joshua, and she takes a spill in his bathroom.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Joshua Madika/You, Joshua/reader, joshua/you</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>toxic.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was an accident.</p><p>You had tripped and spilled some chemicals, and now you couldn’t breathe. Spots were clouding over your vision as your arms began to tingle. You’re flat on your back in the bathroom and you can’t believe you’re gonna go out like this.</p><p>There were worse ways, you supposed.</p><p>You had been cleaning Joshua’s house for about a year. You knew who he was because of course you did. You accidentally had been stalking his career since he’d begun, and you hadn’t looked back. He’s a tech millionaire, and he’d been having a hard time. A little bit depressed actually, having issues taking care of his house in LA.</p><p>Initially you weren’t sure what a tech millionaire would have to be worried about, but you leave it. </p><p>Fuck, you’re not one to judge. </p><p>So his friend Lexi hired you, specifically. You need the cash, so you say yes. You had a bit of a crush on this guy, but you could be professional.</p><p>He’d been sweet, insisting you’d call him Joshua. You’d had light chats over the past few months, nothing too deep. You’re do your job, and you’re good at it.</p><p>One thing that confused you was that the second day you’d come to clean his home, everything was already clean. It was consistently clean, but he never told you not to come over.</p><p>You like to watch him surf. From the safety of his upstairs window, of course. He can’t see you up there.</p><p>You like to watch him read. From the safety of the foyer, but if you sit on the front stairs, you can peer through the glass doors, into the living room, and watch him read. </p><p>He furrows his eyebrows a lot, you wonder how he doesn’t get headaches. </p><p>Maybe Joshua makes your heart flutter. </p><p>He probably has that affect on everybody. He treats everyone like that, you’re sure.</p><p>You push the feelings down.</p><p>Your life flashes before your eyes because of these stupid cleaning chemicals, and the first thing that comes to you is him.</p><p>You thought about him before the world went dark. You feel your head buzzing in the grey fog.</p><p>“Fuck!” A voice cuts through the haze. The void is broken by a new pressure on your skin.</p><p>Were you in a shower?</p><p>“YN, YN wake up, come back.” You feel the fog pull back, and the pinpricks set in on your skin. Joshua’s here.</p><p>He’s here.</p><p>His hair’s stuck to his face, still in business clothes, and you were totally wrapped up in his arms. Joshua’s hand was on the side of your neck, and you could tell he’d been shaking you.</p><p>Joshua’s dark eyes are round, like he was about to cry. You reach up and run your hand on the side of his face. If this was an issue, you’d deal with it later. His beard is soft.</p><p>His breath hitches. You ignore it.</p><p>You both are sitting on the floor of his shower,  tile everywhere, and large, distorted glass blocks keeping the hot air inside.</p><p>This time, the water’s cold, sending a chill up your spine. You reflexively grab his forearm and wrap it tighter around you.</p><p>He’s a little too much to look at. Your head throbbed from the chemicals, and the fall, so you turn away and focus the water. Your soaked and humiliated, you should maybe go to the ER.</p><p>Or maybe not. </p><p>Your eyes shut and you try not to focus on how he’s curved himself around you like a shield, or how long his legs are, or how you can feel him through the stupid blue suit he wears when he’s nervous for a meeting.</p><p>You couldn’t think about any of that. You’d almost died, and now you’re hot for your boss. Client? Whatever.</p><p>“How are you feeling?” His voice is low, small.</p><p>“Stupid.” You hear him huff into your wet hair, and there’s a pause where you only hear your head throbbing.</p><p>“We’re getting up.”</p><p>“Ho-“ You get cut off by him picking you up off the tile. You’re shivering, so you lean your head on his shoulder. It feels like he takes two steps and ends up in his bedroom. Perks of having long legs, you guessed.</p><p>You weren’t going to focus on how he lifts you up so easily, and how for the first time in a long while, you feel like you’re small. Not in a bad way, somehow.</p><p>“Alright, down we go.” He leans, evenly sitting you down at the foot of his bed. Your head is spinning, so you hang it forward. He kneels down. You vaguely comprehend the fact that he’s undoing your shoes, quickly and quietly.</p><p>He puts them together off to the side, pulling off your wet socks next. He hesitates, you speculate if wondering where in his house he keeps his washer and dryer. You laugh internally because you run this house, you know.</p><p>“Oh.” He’s just realized he’s wearing a suit still. You’d been staring, He’s right there. He’s too close.</p><p>“I’ll be back in a moment.” You hear the footsteps take him away. Then there’s silence, except the buzzing in your head.</p><p>You hear a faint thud, followed by a “Fuck.” </p><p>Joshua must be having trouble with the wetsuit. You could help with that.</p><p>Your mind wanders for a moment about his suit, and you have to cut yourself off. You’re a professional.</p><p>Yet your face gets hot anyway.</p><p>He pops back in after a few minutes, wearing some grey sweats and a baggy hoodie, and your mouth goes dry. His hair is still stuck to his face, it’s going to dry all crazy. You’d snooped his self-care products</p><p>You kept throwing out his Cetaphil when you came over, and yet he kept buying more. What was he doing, and why did you care?</p><p>You just want to brush his hair out of his eyes, it’s wouldn’t be that hard to do…</p><p>No wait, fuck him, you need to focus on your breathing, and he comes in here looking like that. It’s not fair.</p><p>So you sit there, looking at each other. What were you supposed to say?</p><p>Your heart skips when you realize you’re breathing in sync.</p><p>“Uh, right.” It’s like he shutters for a moment, trying to think of something to say.</p><p>“How are you feeling?” He kicks himself mentally, that’s all? Idiot.</p><p>“Head’s buzzing.” Two words are all you have, you have your hands on your knees, eyes round and staring up at him.</p><p>“That’s not good.” You feel his eyes on you, as he steps to his closet int he corner, he stumbles for a moment, pulling out clothes.</p><p>“Here are some clean sweats of mine, they should do.” He hands you some warm-looking sweats, dark blue. </p><p>“Uh, hand me your uniform and I’ll put it in the wash.”</p><p>“Thanks.”  </p><p>You prop yourself back up, shoulders hunched together. He looks dumbfounded, like he’s never seen you before.</p><p>“I’ll be right outside in case, you know-“ He gestures vaguely to the door, you almost smile.  He seems nervous, why does he seem so nervous?</p><p>“If I need help, I’ll yell.” You say the words smoothly, shoving down the butterflies. </p><p>“Good.” He replies softly.</p><p>Joshua steps out of the room tilting the door, so it’s not quite closed, but he can’t see you. You peel off your soaked uniform and put it in his extended hand.</p><p>Your brain goes to static, and you slide on his sweats.</p><p>You had been shivering and chattering on the bathroom floor, but being in Joshua’s sweats made you warm right down to your toes. You know he’s a tall person, but on you he seems so much taller. You have to tie up the pants and bunch up the shirtsleeves so you don’t trip.</p><p>Compared to you, he’s huge.</p><p>Your stomach does a flip when you see him come back, wet hair pushed out of his face, in a different pair of sweats, a t shirt and a green pair of soft-looking flannel pants.</p><p>“Lets go downstairs.” He extends his hand, and you take it, suddenly aware of how much bigger his hand was compared to yours.</p><p>You both take the stairs slowly, and you have to pause twice. Ugh, you could practically taste the chemicals.</p><p>You can’t focus on how warm he is, or how the white California light hits his hair in just the right way. You need to focus on your steps.</p><p>But you can’t. He stops you at the foot of the stairs.</p><p>“YN.” He turns to you, suddenly serious, but in a different way.</p><p>“Yes?” You’d just wiped out in his bathroom, he was going to fire you.</p><p>“I’d like to fire you.” Fuck.</p><p>“Oh.” You’re an idiot, you’re an absolute fool. You move to pass him, aimed to run for the door. You could worry about getting home once you got outside, and he’s an actor, he can afford new sweats.</p><p>He stops you, hands on your waist.</p><p>“I’m not done, please hear me out.” Your eyes are round in shock, but you pause, waiting. He has his mouth open, as if to say something, but no words come out.</p><p>He presses his lips to yours softly, and you can’t move.</p><p>It’s sweet. It’s perfectly sweet. You step on your tiptoes, still craning your neck, even though you’re on the stairs. He pulls your lower lip into his mouth, sucking on you softly.</p><p>But against everything, he pulls back. You whine.</p><p>His eyes are squeezed shut, lines between his eyebrows heavy. He always did that when he was upset, and you couldn’t stand it. You’d had a rough day, so now was the time to get away with anything.</p><p>You take your thumb and smooth out the crease on his eyebrows.</p><p>Joshua lets out a small sigh into your touch.</p><p>“I’m sorry.” He practically whispers, hands still on you.</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“YN, you’ve likely been concussed. And poisoned.” He says it like you don’t know. You card your hands through his beard, still damp, noting how his eyes shut halfway.</p><p>“I’m okay now though,” You want to grab him, and pull him back down to you, but his grip is too firm.</p><p>“T-that’s clear.” He chatters, and you cock your head, wondering if you’d heard him right.</p><p>“When you feel better, I’m going to ask you how you feel about New York.”</p><p>“Like the city?” That’s a bit of a random location. What’s he getting at?</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“I like New York.” Whatever it was, it had to be good. Joshua’s good, and he does good things. He wouldn’t bring this up for nothing.</p><p>You let him pick you up again, letting him take you through the clouded glass doors, into his TV room. You sink into a leather couch, and he puts a blanket over the two of you.</p><p>There’s a small part of your brain that keeps telling you that you’re still on the bathroom floor, but the majority is shoving that down because if you were dying you’d know. He’s too warm, so you hunker down into him. He softly exhales  while you adjust to his chest.</p><p>“We should get food.” You suggest, jonesing for that one Thai Food spot that was only a 10 minute drive away.</p><p>“When you wake up. I promise.” He presses a kiss into your forehead as you close your eyes.</p>
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